(Beginner’s mind: seeing things freshly, as if for the first time)

Posted in zen

never, ever, ever…ever

As with most of my latest birthdays, I was not much excited about this one. It seems like this Saturn hole that is known to influence people about 40 days before their celebrations, has been a real life sucker! But also, I think my emotions have been riding the craziest of rides these days…After getting the feedback for my dissertation and somehow miraculously having aced a mark that, to quote the program administrator “we have never, ever…you see, never, ever, ever…seen in the department” I was seriously considering flying off to the moon and back only on the energy one can get from inner smiling. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, RIGHT?

So this was some news, I tell ya! The added award for outstanding performance made it all real.

And then Sami started nursery…One day a week. 1. We’ve been prepping him for over a month, and taking him to visits there, where he was initially super hyped. However, when the moment to be on his own arrived, he just couldn’t handle it. Imagine how I handled it. You guessed it – Poorly! Well, it is a process and we all shall learn and I know it…

For all I know, I had a really really good birthday this year. Again. Thank you, my love!


Taking my son Sami to the museum is by far my most favorite way to spend time with him, along with story time and those really brief moments right after he wakes up and right before he falls asleep, when he is incredibly cuddly and he just surrenders to me…I guess when I do not have to fight him and squeeze him in order to get a hug, it is just the best feeling, really. If you don’t have a kiddo, there is just no way to get this, but if you do, go ahead indulge…But, do not forget to commiserate, especially when it comes to dealing with the wild beast, only an opinionated toddler can be!

To go back to why I love the museum so much. First, we walk there. No buggy, no carrying him any more, walking! It is exhausting for both of us, for him ‘cos well…he is kinda lazy and he loves travelling on any wheels before using his own feet, and second ‘cos it is 30 min. away from the house. For me, it is quite tolling to constantly have to watch for cars, buses, bicycles and all kinds of potential dangers on the road, all that while constantly repeating ‘hold my hand, Sami…c’mon hold my hand!” over and over, while his answer is always the same “it’s OK, I want a car to just smash me!” then it’s all the breathing techniques that I try to impose on my self, to calm down and explain, over and over again. So by the time we arrive to the museum, we are tired. TIRED. So, we go through the animals, ancient Egypt and by the time we get to the living creatures, I am naturally uplifted ‘cos the questions this lil guy comes up with every single day are just to die for. I become so amused with them that I forget all exasperation. By the time, we explore T-rex and the planets, I am fully charged, so having lunch with him at the picnic area where we paint and read stories is a breeze.
Thank goodness for that, ‘cos, yes, it is time to take that same trip home, where Sami leaves no stone unturned, no stick in place, and no buttons unpushed. How do I deal with it? Today, it was a glass of red wine and 2 tiramisu slices…right after I tuck him in for his nap. Off to read some articles and work on some tables, before the monkey is awake, ready to tun the flat upside down!