before i die, revisited

This post was first published in 2010..sometime before we left Las Vegas and moved to the UK to do a Masters in Psychology and fulfill a dream of living in England. Now that this is a wrap, I decided to revisit the same list and dust it off, perhaps add new things, but most definitely tick a few. I guess dreams do come true, when you truly put good intentions into them. Wishing you all more fulfillment!


This is my “groceries list”. It is stationed on my fridge. I do notice it all the time and that’s the point. Some of the things on there are so definite I can almost touch them. Others are quite abstract. But they are there…in me.

Here’s part of it:

* have my own orchid garden
* go through personal psychoanalysis
* stay in bed with Stoyan for 48 hours..
* go to Bhutan
* experiment with red hair
* learn Italian and French
* be simple (much simpler now then 2 years ago…happy to simplify even more)
* scuba dive in the Great Barrier Reef (unbelievably soon!!!)
* forgive my parents (on and off, and it is, of course, a process…but I am quite happy with the progress)
* spend time in an old French Castle drinking red wine (tick!)
* have my own private practice (actually, I am able to envision this)
* stay under the rain (tick!)
* see Rammstein
* be there for my son. always. (again, a process, but …he is there, in me…always.)
* study Jung (moving away from this, unfortunately, but digging deep into classical psychoanalysis, so perhaps the loop will bring me back to Jung)
* be more patient (failing…)
* learn how to play the piano
* spend a year in Tibet
* take a photography class
* built our “cappuccino” house ( 😉 )
* live in NYC
* sleep on the beach (tick!)
* get better at yoga, way better (much better, but there is always room for improvement. And yoga is not only physical, practicing the wholeness of it, is a much desired goal)
* get a PhD (yipee, 1st step is done. 3 more years to go!)
* let go (I have to admit it is getting easier with practice)
* wear an 18-century gown
* appreciate (fail and tick, so trying to stay real and have my eyes open)
* get a black cat (uhh, Stoyan is totally against it, but Sami and I are scheming a deadly plan)
* swim with dolphins (coming soon, too soon! didn’t I mention that I need to learn how to swim first?!?!?!)
* have a quality espresso machine at home
* become fully vegan
* contribute to a better maternity care, globally
* …
* make it happen (no lack of determination or motivation, for sure)


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