date thursdays

we feel like little thieves every Thursday morning when we drop off Sami to kindy, and instead of heading to the office, we head to… a date! No lipstick and heels, no fine dinner and bubbly, no dancing and midnight swims…those are long forgotten (for now, until Sami is off to college calling his parents on the weekend only to get to their voice mail, a-haa!).

We now go for a much humbler experience. A minute or two of uninterrupted coffee. We order, we sit, we wait, we gaze at each other, filled with the effort of recognizing and slowly remembering WHO that person was, how their hands felt, what their voice was, and then we are just walking and talking, and then some more talking. We sometimes have lunch, we sometimes have a picnic by the river, we go watch a movie. We even had a couple’s massage.
Then Stoyan goes for a late shift at the emptying campus. I pick Sami up, holding him a tad stronger, sniffing his hair a tad longer.

these are our date days. we like them.

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gratitudes

i have been a lucky gal. when i have a minute to pause i like to give thanks to my fate. it helps me stay focused on the right attitude that i have been trying to cultivate for some time instead of the ever so pressing urge to contemplate on the problems that are awaiting my attention. i sometimes achieve it and most times i don’t. it is a learning process, i guess. it never ends.

what i really appreciate today is simple, quite basic actually, but we do not usually recognize the simplest things in life, right? well, i stopped taking those for granted ever since i lost quite a few and i am most grateful for that, as now i know better how to appreciate the smallest of things…

– my family is healthy
– we finally have a home
– we have means of transportation and we are free to go anywhere (we can even afford gas)
– we can also afford to have food on our table (we got a table with 4 chairs for an amazing deal), clean water, hot water, towels and sheets, candles and soap
– internet (we missed that a lot. turns out life is not only easier with it, it is Possible with it)
– we have a bed, and one for Sami (bought second hand, as almost everything we own now; i personally painted it, and i am super proud)
– the old and antique bench that we revamped (got it for $5! a cup of coffee is $4!)
– my mum (her cheering voice is so warming even from the other side of the world)
– my grandparents (the first ones we called when we got a home phone installed)
– my amazing mentor and a supervisor Fiona
– espresso, dark chocolate and Stoyan cooking
– our wine glasses that we brought from Vegas filled with Australian red (also quite grateful for ibuprofen this morning)
– the park right outside our door with bats hanging from the palm trees
– the muddy Brisbane river, passing slowly by our neighborhood
– Saturday’s West End market
– found a fridge today, liked it, took it home and we no longer need to eat all our food asap
– Sami got a new scooter; the excitement!
– going to a house warming party tonight for a Bulgarian author whose book about Brisbane life we read while we were in Bulgaria; we are now friends!
– excited about watching a couple of new movies
– afternoon naps (about to dive in one right now, so i will have to put a pause on this endless list)

what are you most grateful for today?

gastronomie (Paris II)

my most favorite cherry tomatoes, from the local market…
bio Bordeaux from the local wine store… (no migraine, even at risky times and risky amounts)
organic apricots jam; both cheeses are goat, local produce from the market…the combination with fresh endives and raw hazelnuts – to die for!
the famous macaroons that Stoyan’s cousin had made the day before on a special class. the flavours were chocolate, vanilla bean and coffee! no words!
from the Tuesday market, we got fresh prawns and Stoyan cooked them with white wine, garlic and parsley. honestly, writing about this and reminiscing makes me want to get on that plane to Paris right this moment
a treat that we love, with champagne, of course!
mine is always chocolate and coffee, his is always dark and white chocolate. perfect harmony!

princess times

Today is quite the princess-y day for me, and all vanity aside, I LOVE IT!

Woke up to hot croissants that the boys had gotten for breakfast, along with these spring beauties

Stoyan cooked an amazing quinoa casserole with vegetables and all kind of secret ingredients, which I am having right now with a glass of French Bordeaux, while enjoying Stoyan’s latest publication. AND THERE IS SUNSHINE over Manchester today!

The boys went to find a new rucksack for Sami. Just got a message that the mission is accomplished and we are now proud owners of a frog, which Sami had preferred over all other choices. Happy with my amphibian lover 🙂 Cannot wait to have them back home soon.

p.s. I am also going to a girls movie and pizza night out tonight! Can this get any better??!!

WAIT. YES. Did I mention we are leaving for Paris in a couple of days? AWEEE, NO I DID NOT!

before i die, revisited

This post was first published in 2010..sometime before we left Las Vegas and moved to the UK to do a Masters in Psychology and fulfill a dream of living in England. Now that this is a wrap, I decided to revisit the same list and dust it off, perhaps add new things, but most definitely tick a few. I guess dreams do come true, when you truly put good intentions into them. Wishing you all more fulfillment!

***

This is my “groceries list”. It is stationed on my fridge. I do notice it all the time and that’s the point. Some of the things on there are so definite I can almost touch them. Others are quite abstract. But they are there…in me.

Here’s part of it:

* have my own orchid garden
* go through personal psychoanalysis
* stay in bed with Stoyan for 48 hours..
* go to Bhutan
* experiment with red hair
* learn Italian and French
* be simple (much simpler now then 2 years ago…happy to simplify even more)
* scuba dive in the Great Barrier Reef (unbelievably soon!!!)
* forgive my parents (on and off, and it is, of course, a process…but I am quite happy with the progress)
* spend time in an old French Castle drinking red wine (tick!)
* have my own private practice (actually, I am able to envision this)
* stay under the rain (tick!)
* see Rammstein
* be there for my son. always. (again, a process, but …he is there, in me…always.)
* study Jung (moving away from this, unfortunately, but digging deep into classical psychoanalysis, so perhaps the loop will bring me back to Jung)
* be more patient (failing…)
* learn how to play the piano
* spend a year in Tibet
* take a photography class
* built our “cappuccino” house ( 😉 )
* live in NYC
* sleep on the beach (tick!)
* get better at yoga, way better (much better, but there is always room for improvement. And yoga is not only physical, practicing the wholeness of it, is a much desired goal)
* get a PhD (yipee, 1st step is done. 3 more years to go!)
* let go (I have to admit it is getting easier with practice)
* wear an 18-century gown
* appreciate (fail and tick, so trying to stay real and have my eyes open)
* get a black cat (uhh, Stoyan is totally against it, but Sami and I are scheming a deadly plan)
* swim with dolphins (coming soon, too soon! didn’t I mention that I need to learn how to swim first?!?!?!)
* have a quality espresso machine at home
* become fully vegan
* contribute to a better maternity care, globally
* …
* make it happen (no lack of determination or motivation, for sure)

the things i did on a do-nothing-day

1. woke up and not looked at the watch
2. made tea
3. took a long shower with nobody walking in to ask me to fix McQueen’s eyes, assist with them with the potty or wipe their behinds
4. made coffee, the long way…soaking it first with just a little really hot water, waiting for 10 min, and then adding the actual amount of water for 2 coffees
5. meditated and not looked at the watch
6. played a CD with classical music
7. read a novel. A NOVEL. not and article.
8. made breakfast, the long way…
9. did my nails
10. did not wake Stoyan up
11. watched yellow-chested birds in front of the cottage having their breakfast for I don’t know how long, not looking at the watch
12. had coffee, and then some more…
13. pampered my face with a clay mask and nobody opposed (Sami is terrified when I put on a face mask and always insists that I do not need to be beautiful any more…missing mister smarty pants right now!)
14. finally looked at the time and it was only 10 am, went into the bedroom to get my laptop and while reaching for it, I just stayed there and then I climbed inside the warm sheets…