take your time

“If you’re not doing the work you love, the greatest contribution you can make to the world and to your own growth is to take whatever time you need to figure out what you want to do. Then start doing it.” Living the simple life, James, E.

This is a major point that Stoyan and I have always considered. But at some point we just stopped. We diverged… It is also one of the reasons why we are leaving the comfort of Vegas’ life. When I look back I cannot fathom how long it took us to actually move on with what we’ve always wanted. But now I know, there are reasons for everything. And I am a believer that when a person stays in certain situation, it is only because they find something to stay for. If the stove is too hot and unbearable, you wouldn’t even consider sitting on it. It’s the same with life circumstances. You either run away from something that you certainly know you cannot take or you tolerate it for a reason, no matter how close to your consciousness it is. Your Life is almost always a result of your own choices. The rest is the emotional baggage that your parents, teachers, friends, and even bosses have vested in you. And here again, it is how much you have allowed them to shape you up. With the big exception of your parents’ role (the one you can hardly have chosen), all else is a byproduct.

These last months have been life transforming for me, for Stoyan, not yet for Sami, but for my family back home as well. New challenges have smoldered us, and others we have somehow overcome. It’s time for big decisions, choices, and deep-thought for me. I became quite introverted and introspective, although I have always been some of a loner. I think this thought alone has lots to do with the idea to  have my own blog and to just let go of all the boiling emotions inside. I often accuse myself of over-thinking. It is a real monster. But my demons are the ones that make me stronger, and I cannot help but acknowledge their constant presence.

And I sometimes wonder what is better: taking a foreverness before you make a choice or follow your spontaneity and go with the urge? Needless to say, I have always chosen the first scenario. I am glad though, that at this point I am considering the risk of leaving everything behind and catching up with some matters of the heart.