“Focus on the No to become clear on the Yes. Define the Yes by clarifying the No.”
This has been the simple rule of thumb we have been following as a life guide. As I have seriously began to question it, especially lately, I was happy to see a post about it today on Zenhabits (a really cool blog I read, by Leo B.). It gave me some piece of mind that we aren’t that cynical and lost, as we feel sometimes.
While I have always considered that I have one life and I need to follow my heart and always do what makes me feel complete, I realize that sooner or later I get the itch and I need to move on with something else. Well, there are some main strings that never change, such as my deepest relationships, interests and of course, my love for coffee. However, in terms of a place to live and perhaps priorities related to that, I can only say I have been ticking boxes of “No, not my place” for the humble 30 years of life experience.
So again, we are at the conundrum of what’s next. This time, the equation is multivariate. So many things to consider and so little to ignore. As one of the mothers that I have interviewed for my latest project put it: ‘Life is precious now. I am no longer Eva. I am Inna’s mum now!’ (names have been changed, of course) To put it in just the right terms, I am Sami’s mum now and life IS precious. Along with every little decision you make, such as the food you buy, the music you decide to listen around the house, the planned activities for each day, and hour, and minute…your weekends and your evenings…To bring it to the point, the decision to relocate becomes a big challenge. Ridiculous questions, such as what is the weather like and are we going to be able to be outside every day; sun, rain?; positive people? nurturing atmosphere? good childcare and schools? much later on the list are things like coffee shops, museums, just the right community (you know what I mean, it is so different for all of us), affordable housing (as I cannot really imagine being stuck in a 1-bedroom flat)…Having said all that, we have clarified the NO’s and decided that Manchester is a NO for us…as it misses a top priority for us three. Although as a city, it definitively checks on most of the list, it misses a crucial ingredient – it has no SUN. As simple as that.
And this has been something we thrive on and without it, we tend to languish. Not the Vegas excruciating heat, although after the complete lack of any summer, has definitely made me ponder over the idea, not, but just a decent amount of sun….
So we are exploring opportunities now. I wonder what life will throw at us, but I have no doubt it will be amazing again.